Networking is not necessarily the best term we can use, says Patricia Cook, success facilitator and president of Patricia Cook & Associates. “To my mind, it’s about making connections; it’s about a general curiosity,” she adds. “It’s not about collecting people, but more about building that community of trusted relationships that I can count on.”
Be curious – Networking is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes three to five interactions to cement a relationship and make it productive in business. The focus should be on getting to know those around you. Ask questions: What do they do? What’s made them successful? How did they deal with changes? What did they read to stay on top?
Be present – Staying present when you’re listening is important, but this is about also being present by consistently showing up at the events, consistently following up, sending that e-mail saying, “I enjoyed when you talked about x, y or z, this was my takeaway and this is how I’ve been employing it.”
Be consistent – Look for ways you can add value. It’s important to try and find one thing from every meeting you attend that you can pass along to add value to somebody else. That’s how you’re perceived as adding value. I think it’s lovely to be the most technical person in the room, but I think people need to consistently see you. You’ve got to attend the events and you’ve got to find your voice and occasionally speak up.
If you’re a reluctant networker, go early – The best networking is done at the beginning or at the end, so if it is not your comfort zone go early. Look at who’s going ahead of time, familiarize yourself with the list and figure out who are two or three people you want to meet.
Be prepared – Do your research and go with specific questions that you’re curious about. Be
the first person to extend your hand, which makes everyone feel that you’re one of the most confident people in the room, even if you are not.
Circulate – Your goal is to have three to five interactions, so make sure you close off a conversation in the right way and leave a reason to follow-up. Say, “I am loving this conversation, but I don’t want to monopolize you. I know there are other people you need to meet. May I get your contact information and follow up with you next week to take this discussion further?”
Keep it professional – Avoid sensitive topics, including politics, health, diet, weight, racial or gender slurs or jokes, partying, drinking, discussions, gossip, and obviously sex. It’s a professional setting and once you’ve said something, you can’t unsay it. If people are talking about stuff that I’m uncomfortable talking about, I say, “Interesting” or “I heard that”. I try not to get sucked into a conversation that I don’t think is appropriate.
Meet people where they are – New professionals have different ways of relating. A lot of people are less comfortable with a one-on-one conversation but happy to jot off an e-mail or a text. Very few people pick up a phone. I feel it’s really important to communicate the way that another person likes to be communicated with and to think about what’s the most effective way to do this.
Be generous – Give somebody a genuine compliment. It makes them feel good, it makes you
feel good and it makes them want to continue to help you. Show people your value. I set Google Alerts after I meet somebody and I know what they’re interested in. So if something pops up in industry information, I’ll pass it on. It gives you that check-in where people associate you with sending value.
Young professionals: new to networking – Sometimes younger folks feel like they have nothing to offer to more experienced colleagues in a networking room. But they do: they have enthusiasm and they have curiosity. They have current knowledge of what’s changing, more technical expertise and more social media knowledge. I do think there is mutual value and it’s about offering support.
Tina Nielsen
