An epidemic of loneliness is sweeping America. Simultaneously, a remarkable 75% of restaurant traffic today is takeout. 50% of Gen Z and Millennials say takeout and drive-thru meals are essential, with 60% ordering takeout more often than in 2024. Millennials are three times more likely to order in than their parents. Food delivery apps are now on average in the top 40 most downloaded apps in major markets.
A report by USB investment bank titled Is the Kitchen Dead? echoed many others and made a bullish case for increased global online food ordering sales. The study predicted delivery sales could rise by an annual average of more than 20% to $365bn worldwide by 2030, from $35bn. Cooking and sharing a meal at home is now old school. So, if fewer people share meals and enjoy the magic eating together around a table, can hospitality survive?
Some deem technology in the foodservice industry to have made matters worse. Some even say it is the major culprit, even though its use has eased the operator’s pain resulting from unavailable labor and increased food costs. The dominant use of preorder, prepay, pickup, and delivery, they say, has apparently cost us our hospitality mojo. Technology, at least in the hospitality industry, has subliminally encouraged, or at least supported, loneliness – and aloneness.
US surgeon general Vivek Murthy placed a spotlight on America’s problem with loneliness when he declared the issue an epidemic in the spring of 2023. He asserted that loneliness is far more than “just a bad feeling” and represents a major public health risk for both individuals and society.
Murthy also pointed out that, although many people grew lonelier during the Covid pandemic, about half of American adults had already reported experiences of loneliness even before the outbreak. The surgeon general went on to establish a working definition of loneliness that at least established a basis for communication and conversation: “Loneliness is a state of mind: a subjective distressing experience that results from perceived isolation or inadequate meaningful connections, where inadequate refers to the discrepancy or unmet need between an individual’s preferred and actual experience”
A most important social fact
That many, and particularly Gen Z and Millennials, prefer to be by themselves while dining is an unspoken and fierce dynamic. How has this come to be? Yes, these technologies saved the day during Covid, but why have we continued to perpetuate them now? Hospitality, traditionally associated with in-person dining and service, is devolving significantly with the rise of these alternative services. Though technology and hospitality seem to be diametrically opposed, hospitality is still the most powerful loneliness cure.
The health implications of loneliness have become clearer over time. According to the research of Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, and colleagues, the heightened risk of mortality from loneliness equals that of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or being an alcoholic, and exceeds the health risks associated with obesity. 87.9% of adolescents and adults reported difficulty with work, home, or social activities due to their depression symptoms; 31.2% reported extreme difficulty in performing these activities.
A survey by Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common (MCC), after interviewing thousands of Americans across the nation, confirmed that loneliness is prolific and inclusive: it leaves no one out. People between 30 and 44 years of age were the loneliest group – 29% of people in this age range said they were “frequently” or “always” lonely. Correlate that with the simultaneous and troublesome fact that 18- to 24-year-olds, are, other studies have shown, lonelier than at any time in our history.
In an article in The Atlantic, journalist Derek Thompson suggests that “self-imposed solitude might just be the most important social fact of the 21st century in America”. He quotes Steve Salis, a Washington DC restaurateur, who emphasizes that “people feel uncomfortable in the world today. They have decided that their home is their sanctuary and that it is not easy to get them to leave.”
One speculation is that Covid relieved the pressure felt by many to ‘belong’. Without the pressure of interacting and performing among others, the anxiety around failing vanished. This sentiment may still be driving the tendency to seek aloneness. Many do not want to go back to work or seek people out because they well remember the pain of failing or feeling alienated in those situations. Home is safer.
Redefining hospitality?
One must then ask: what is the cure? No vaccine has been developed to cure loneliness. Even though there has been a simultaneous 50% rise in the use of antidepression medication in the US in the past decade, the epidemic persists. Particularly startling is the amount of these medications administered to young people.
The statistics are staggering. Healthline.com reports antidepressant prescriptions for young adults and teens increased by nearly 64% from 2020 onward. It further shows antidepressant use was escalating even before the pandemic. Clearly, Covid didn’t help, but it was not a singular driving force (although in the first year of the pandemic, the global prevalence of anxiety and depression increased by a massive 25%, according to the World Health organization).
As hospitality professionals, we must seek the interventive and preventative strategies to amend this alarming trend. Let’s begin with the historic definition of hospitality. The word hospitality derives from the Latin ‘hospitalitas’, which means ‘friendliness to guests’, from the nominative ‘hospes’, meaning ‘guest; host’. The Greek word for hospitality literally means ‘to love strangers’.
Let’s be clear: loneliness has been part of the human condition forever. But loneliness and social isolation are not the same. Many people, for example, have plenty of family members around them but do not feel appreciated or understood. Musicians and poets have addressed this state through the decades. America’s 1974 song ‘Lonely people’ is a case in point:
This is for all the lonely people;
Thinkin’ that life has passed them by;
Don’t give up until you drink from the silver cup;
And ride that highway in the sky.
Then along came Cheers in 1983, with its popular theme song, ‘Where everybody knows your name’:
Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name;
And they’re always glad you came;
You wanna be where you can see our troubles are all the same;
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.
Today, it seems people aren’t keen to know anyone else’s name, let alone what their troubles might be. There is definitely going to be a continued and accelerated adoption of different automation technologies, both in the restaurant and in back office and enterprise systems. Financial pressures on foodservice operations are very real and compel operators to use various forms of technological solutions. Does this mean it is time to redefine hospitality? Or just give it up as unachievable?
As foodservice consultants, we are a creative and devoted group of professionals with concerns about the end-user experience as well as that of our employees. After observing a myriad of commercial and non-commercial operations, as well as discussing this Hospitality 3.0 iteration, several solutions that help create meaningful encounters emerged, suggesting technology and hospitality can, indeed, hold hands while combatting loneliness.
As LaVar Burton, American actor and director, says, “In a society that functions optimally, those who are able should naturally want to provide for those who can’t. That’s how it’s designed to work.” As foodservice professionals we stand at the helm of a ship that needs righting, with no excuses for not doing so. Several tactics can be put into motion.
Connective design
Architects and interior designers are also focusing on front-of-house strategies to both encourage connectivity and, if nothing else, allow those who wish to dine solo among a sea of others, can do so comfortably. Soft seating, varied seating options, lighting and coloration differences in assorted areas, and warm materials are among the solutions.
As architecture firm Gensler states in its blog, Designing workplaces to strengthen connection and combat loneliness, “as designers, we must also address the diverse needs of employees and their wellbeing to deliver a better workplace experience for them, which in turn leads to more engagement and productivity.” The elements that make employees happier are the same as those that foster comfort and connection among customers. A great example that encompasses all of the above is Boulevard in San Francisco, where three distinct spaces exist to allow the guest to choose which vibe appeals to their mood de jour.
Design a welcoming culture
As American urban sociologist Ray Oldenberg discusses in his illuminating book, The Great Good Places, “the nature of a third place is one in which the presence of a ‘regular’ is always welcome, where people meet, chat, and connect with others, which can strengthen social ties. Regular gatherings and shared experiences in these spaces can create a sense of belonging and shared identity.”
Pubs, churches, and coffee houses have historically been icons of such hospitality. Oldenberg asserted that these spaces are essential for a healthy society, acting as a counterbalance to the privatization of home and work life. As Covid rampaged through our culture, forcing isolation and a habituation to technological solutions for ordering and receiving food, many concepts began to limit, and in many cases delete, the front of house. Drive-thrus have proliferated.
But there are signs of changes – Brian Niccol who was appointed CEO of Starbucks in August 2024, asked that 130,000 chairs that had been removed from the stores in the past few years be returned. It’s the latest lesson from Starbucks. The chain went too far in its bid to cater to the takeout customer and, in the process, abandoned what made it Starbucks. Customers wanted seats back; they wanted to stay. This was soothing news to those of us who still believe hospitality and human connection is a powerful salve to loneliness.
Staff training and appreciation
How many times do we walk into a restaurant, food hall or corporate dining room, and no one greets or welcomes us? This lack of greeting is a current bane to hospitality, leaving any person entering to feel awkward and self-conscious. An excellent example of authentic welcoming, on the other hand, was observed recently at a business and industry account where a human being was assigned, daily, to greet and welcome every employee that scanned their badge when entering the building.
Train staff to recognize and support individuals entering their establishment, to offer a friendly face and social connection. Notice someone’s name on a credit card and thank them by name upon return, as the Houston’s restaurant group has done for years – nothing feels more inclusive than hearing one’s name. Engage with customers. Be authentic and hire people who are naturally inclined toward joy.
And let’s not forget about employee appreciation. Our industry is known for employee burnout. Typical symptoms of overwrought foodservice workers are anxiety, depression and addiction. Levels of depression within hospitality are extremely high.
According to a survey from Culinary Hospitality Outreach and Wellness (CHOW), 63% of food, beverage and hospitality professionals suffer from depression and 53% feel they’ve been pushed to their breaking point. Caring for and supporting employees who are often suffering from loneliness and depression themselves can go miles in creating a culture of people who feel cared for – and then extend that to others.
Juan Martinez FCSI, owner of Profitallity Consulting, recently wrote in Foodservice Equipment & Supplies magazine an article entitled How to become an employer of choice through design. He asserts that “attracting and retaining employees and customers is a goal we always aspire to achieve in any project, because doing so will drive sales and operational efficiency.
Any restaurant executive knows the longer employees work for the concept and the more experience they have, the more efficient they become. A tenured employee has the ability to provide a better customer experience, which drives sales, profits and supports brand health and growth.” Three tips from him: simplify what they have to do, develop a concept that is cool and relevant, and develop labor guidelines that provide labor based on the actual work being done.
Provide experiences
Shared dining experiences and engaging activities can provide opportunities for social interaction and build a sense of community. Engaging activities such as music, games, or entertainment, and personalized interactions can significantly reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Consumers today crave experiences.
Authentic hospitality, in any setting, can be the elixir or vaccine to loneliness – if not cure it, then dramatically reduce its symptoms. It’s our job
Karen Malody FCSI is the founder and principal of Culinary Options consultancy in Portland, Oregon
